I Didn’t Disappear. I Just Ran Out of Bandwidth.
If you want to make more time for other things, click here to listen to this podcast. If you prefer reading, by all means, read on. Thank you for listening or reading.
Okay, hi. Hello.
If you’re wondering where I’ve been, same.
I didn’t disappear; I didn’t quit; I didn’t rebrand. I just ran out of bandwidth.
And I don’t have time for the guilt spiral that comes with being a human who needs a pause.
Welcome back to I Don’t Have Time for This S***, the podcast (and blog) for people who are doing their best, holding it together with caffeine (Shout out to Diet Mtn. Dew My Power Juice) and good intentions, and still feel like they’re one dropped email away from screaming into the void.
Yes, this podcast is still alive. Barely, but alive.
So… Where Have I Been?
Let’s clear the air.
I stopped recording. Not dramatically. Not intentionally. I only recorded a few episodes to begin with, but then I hit pause, because life got loud. Work got heavier. My expectations got higher. My tolerance for nonsense got lower.
At the same time, I was:
- Teaching at a new school
- Running my own private music studio for the first time
- Parenting
- Being a partner
- Being the reliable one (you know exactly what I mean)
- Training for a marathon
- Studying for a doctoral degree
Let me tell you something: marathon training alone will wreck your schedule, your energy, and your personality. Add doctoral-level reading, writing, thinking, questioning every life choice you’ve ever made, and a little imposter syndrome for spice?
Zap. Fully booked. No vacancies.
Somewhere between long runs, academic articles, deadlines, and trying to keep my body upright, this podcast quietly slid to the bottom of my list. Not out of neglect, but out of survival.
The Lie About Consistency
Let’s talk about consistency for a second.
We’re told:
- If you stop posting, you failed
- If you pause, you quit
- If you rest, you’re falling behind
No.
Sometimes consistency looks like not burning yourself to the ground.
I didn’t stop having thoughts.
I didn’t stop having opinions.
And I definitely didn’t stop caring.
I just stopped pretending I could do everything all at once without consequences.
And I do not have time for shame culture, the idea that rest requires an apology.
That Quiet Guilt Nobody Talks About
You know the voice.
The one that says:
- You should be doing more.
- You used to be better at this.
- You’re letting people down.
Even when no one actually said that.
Even when no one is thinking it.
That voice is a liar, and she is NOT invited into my life anymore.
Growth sometimes looks like:
- Fewer outputs
- Deeper breaths
- Stronger boundaries
- Choosing sustainability over applause
Say it with me: sustainability.
What I Learned During the Silence
Here’s what became crystal clear while I wasn’t recording:
- I don’t want this podcast to feel like homework
- I want it to sound like honesty
- I want space to evolve without reintroducing myself every single time
- I don’t owe productivity as proof of my worth
- If I wait until I’m “caught up” to create again, I’ll never come back
So here I am, messy, real, slightly out of practice, and done waiting for perfect conditions.
Resetting Expectations (Together)
Let’s be clear about what this podcast is now:
- Not weekly (unless it is)
- Not polished (unless it needs to be)
- Not algorithm-friendly
- Still honest
- Still funny on a good day (I try)
- Still saying the quiet parts out loud
If you’re here for perfection, you’re in the wrong place.
If you’re here for real, pull up a chair.
If you’ve taken a break from something you love and felt weird about it, this is your permission slip.
You didn’t quit.
You paused.
You survived.
And you can come back without needing to explain yourself.
I don’t have time for the guilt.
I don’t have time for the pressure.
I don’t have time for pretending I’m not human.
And I definitely don’t have time for this bullsh*t!
If you liked the intro music, you can check out the full version here. Credit to Suno AI Music Generator (Because I just didn’t have time) for the instrumental tracks. Lyrics and vocals by yours truly.
Thanks for being here. I’ll see you again soon, no apologies required.
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